Chuck vs The Night before the Morning after
by AwesomeMJay
Summary: THE PREQUEL to: Chuck vs the Morning after the Night before. Prepare for drunken antics and a highly suggestive Sarah and a baffled Chuck. Rated T for paranoia and the sexual references. Enjoy!


**Author's Notes: **In effect this is the prequel to Chuck vs the Morning after the Night Before, no knowledge of that is needed to read this but it's always fun to read both :P And remember to review! Enjoy :3

**Chuck vs The Night Before the Morning After**

"Come on Sarah just _one _more drink!"

"Yeah! It won't kill you to let loose a bit."

The problem with the newly wedded Awesomes was when they decided to team up on you and convince you to have another drink... Another drink _always _causes problems. So this was when Sarah Walker found herself caving into the Awesomes request which would no doubt elicit a booming awesome from the Captain himself. To make things worse when Ellie decides to tempt you she has to make that pouty face and insinuating eyes... So much like her brother. And she really was drunk to be thinking about Ellie this way. She'd only had three drinks of red wine, one before dinner, one during dinner, and one after dinner. She hadn't even realized this until Chuck had pointed it out which caused a thousand daggers to be thrown at him... with her eyes.

Finally the blonde decided it'd be best to give in to the temptation or suffer the badgering by the Awesomes for the next few weeks about how she never allows herself to have fun. After all how much trouble could they get into? There's no surveillance so no leverage for Casey if he decided to turn on her. Sarah thought it good to weigh out all possibilities and one tiny drink wouldn't affect anyone much.

"_Ok._"

Her response caused Chuck Bartowski who was polishing off his fourth glass of wine to choke on the alcohol and splutter all over his shirt.

"Really?"

"No."

This caused his brow to furrow and him to have that dumbfounded rabbit in the headlights type look until he finally twigged on mustering a fake laugh.

"Oh ha ha, Sarah Walker cracking a joke I must've drunk too much."

"At least my shirt is clean."

He stared down and shook his head.

"Be right back."

And with that he leapt up into action and ran out of the room, Ellie's talking brought her back into the room as the gangly nerd rounded the corner. She chuckled then spoke.

"My brother. The nerd."

"Would you have it any other way?"

Awesome responded to her giving her a soft peck on the cheek causing her to laugh and lean into his arms, unbeknown to the answer for one superspy as she whispered below her breath.

"_No I wouldn't."_

The few minutes Chuck was away all Sarah could hear was a light conversation between the Captain and Ellie, she caught on the occasional awesome but other than that it lacked interest. When Chuck reappeared he was wearing a dark shirt with the top three buttons undone without an undershirt causing his newly toned chest to peak through. It took all Sarah's might to not let out an approving wolf whistle which was strange meaning she was probably slightly intoxicated. Just a little bit.

"Ewww Chuck button up your shirt, I don't want to see you naked."

"Not awesome."

The Awesomes strike again.

"I would."

Ok maybe she said that a bit loud judging by the Captain's howl and Ellie's red face not to mention Chuck's awkward facial expression and the growing blush. Diverting the attention quickly Awesome decided to spare the embarrassment by announcing

"Drinks are served."

Ever the gentlemen Chuck handed Sarah hers, a different drink. She had expected a red wine but what is this? Sensing her puzzlement Chuck nodded towards it and told her what it was.

"It's a Mai Tai."

She gulped it down quickly and was surprised at the nice taste, however the Captain was sharp at her heels to refill. It tasted fruit like, like pineapple. She liked pineapple. The heavy taste of fruit obviously meant not a lot of alcohol was present she reasoned.

"Mmmm"

"Yeah they're Ellie's favourite, she swears they're magical."

"Maaaiiiigggghhhhttttyyyyy"

"Mai _Tai_"

"That's what I said! Maighty!"

"Sure..."

Minutes went by and Sarah watched as the Awesomes and Chuck interacted easily, it took her a moment to notice Chuck was talking to her. God she really was feeling drunk. And whenever she finished the Captain would top her up. It was great service here.

"Is that your third Mai Tai?"

She giggled.

"Fourth."

He nodded his head and stared at her with a worried look.

"What are you thinking right now?"

Good question. What was she thinking?

"Mmm... Muffin tops, England, English. English breakfast. Scrambled egg, scrambled brain, black pudding, bacon... Mmmm bacon. Pork, oink. Pig, cow. Baah, sheep. Farmer, shepherd... JESUS! Beard, goatee, donkey. Shrek. Earwax, candles. Princess-"

"Ermm... yeah that's interesting. You can stop now-"

But she didn't stop there.

"Shrek makes me think of a princess being an ogre and getting married to an ogre and having babies by having sex, rocking the bed, banging, fucking, becoming joined at the holes, mating, breeding, shagging, screwing, getting laid, humping, doing the deed-"

This caused Ellie to halt her conversation with the Captain.

" Sarah I think we get the idea-"

" Playing hide the salami... Stupid sandwich girl, boning, getting dirty, having nookie, the old in-and-out, hanky-panky, bow-chicka-bow-wow, putting some beef in the taco, vertical jogging-"

Distraction. Think distraction

"Want another mojito?"

"NO! I want an Orgasm!"

He gave her a wide eyed look and the Captain raised his hand booming a loud.

"I know that one!"

Earning a slap on the arm from Ellie, to which he quickly added.

"The drink. I know the drink."

And with the Chuck and Captain Awesome left to prepare Sarah an Orgasm.

"You forgot horizontal bop or mambo."

"I did!"

Chuck hands Sarah her drink to which she takes a sip and murmurs a thank you and a sexual comment which he chooses to ignore until she speaks.

"Chuck?"

"Yes Sarah?"

"You know how you have the Bartowski Eye brow dance?"

Oh no.

"Yeah?"

"Wanna know what I have?"

"This makes me a little bit uncomfortable..."

He nervously eyes Ellie knowing the next thing that comes out of Sarah's mouth will be some sort of sexual reference towards him. She put her drink on the table and put her left hand on his left thigh, rather high up, and did the same with her right.

"I have the _Sarah Swipe!"_

He gives her a wide eyed look and sees Sarah begin to move slightly as if she's going to move onto his lap.

"What's the Sarah-"

Before he can react she pulls his trousers to her ripping them at the seams as Chuck lets out a girlish

"Eeeep!"

"SWIPE!"

"What the hell?"

Sarah smiled triumphantly waving the ripped pants in her hands.

"I swiped your pants!"

He'd now gone a bright shade of red and stared at a highly amused Ellie and a horrified Captain Awesome.

"Sarah I need my pants back..."

"Not for what we're going to do! It's like Shrek-"

He groans.

"Not that again especially not in front of my sister-"

"But we're going to have se-"

Distraction! Think distraction.

"Want another orgasm?"

Sarah's eyebrows raise and she attempts a seductive look which makes her look a bit demented especially seeing as she's holding his pants above her head.

"Well if you're offering..."

"Not like that! The _drink."_

"Well I'd prefer 69'er."

And with that Chuck takes off to the kitchen with the Captain, she hears him murmur about getting some pants and sees him disappear down the hall. Ellie speaks again.

"You need to teach me the Sarah Swipe!"

"Your name isn't Sarah."

The fact floored Ellie.

"Oh my god you're right. I need something like the... Ellie-"

"The Ellie Erotic!"

"Mmmm... I like it."

Chuck returns with pants and Sarah's drink.

"Mmm... So Chuck do you want to know another one of my secrets?"

She attempts to whisper it in a hushed tone but shouts it quite loudly causing Chuck to gulp down his bottle of beer.

"Chuck I have something impawlaned. Impotland. Impoalaned. Good to tell you."

"Yeah?"

"It goes _in _the hole!"

She makes hand gestures as she speaks indicating her finger going into a hole made by scrunching up her hand.

"Ermmm..."

"Remember that."

"Why should I remem-"

"Because"

Sarah looked quite proud with this answer.

"Because isn't a reason-"

"I said it! You should remember _EVERYTHING_ I say."

Distraction. Think distraction.

"Another 69'er?"

"No actually I want a Blow Job!"

He rolls his eyes.

"I think I need that more than you..."

"Well I could always-"

"The _DRINK _Sarah. _The drink."_

"Would you like to drink me?"

And with that he goes into the kitchen. Sarah sits by herself consumed with her game of pretending to make her hands talk to each other, Chuck faintly hears part of the conversation.

She speaks in her normal voice.

"Hi I'm Sarah!"

She lowers her voice to a manly tone.

"Hi I'm Chuck!"

Normal voice.

"Yay! Now we can date and call ourselves Charah!"

Manly voice.

"Power couple!"

Squeaky voice.

"Hi I'm Jill!"

Normal voice.

"I'm going to cut you into tiny pieces! And I'm Sarah."

Squeaky voice.

"I'm going to sleep with your boyfriend!"

Normal voice.

"No you're not!"

So as Chuck was bringing Sarah's drink in he did not expect to see Sarah Walkers hands begin a battle of epic proportions over the hand version of himself. He heard the word bitch and brunette and possibly skank mentioned several times as she threw herself around the couch causing Captain Awesome AND Chuck to separate her hands. Half the drink was on the floor and Sarah had adapted her normal voice to pass blame onto someone else muttering an angry.

"She started it."

Chuck nodded.

"I'm sure she did."

"Chuck?"

"Yeah?"

"How many eyes do I have?"

His brow furrowed and he lifted himself from the couch.

"You've had too much to drink."

"Answer my question!"

She adapted a menacing tone and squinted her eyes, this time she raised her hands together and spoke in a normal voice.

"Answer him..."

Followed by a squeaky voice.

"Or we'll eat you!"

Chuck stared wide eyed at her.

"And with that we're going to bed."

"To have sex?"


End file.
